Filled with hope again

So every time I walk past the preg. test I have to look at it to see that "YES+". I just get so excited to see that. Like it makes it real again.

I am just filled with hope again. I find myself dreaming about what this baby will be like. How it will be to have him or her with us. I did that with Ethan and felt like my dreams were crushed after losing him, I didn't get to have those dreams come true. But I still find myself dreaming and imagining how this one will be- I thought I wouldn't do that this time around- just the knowledge that it is possible to lose all of that, but I guess that innocence has returned to me. Though I don't feel blinded like the innocence I had before but more like I am just enjoying those ideas and thoughts because it is a part of being pregnant and even if we lose this child I will at least have those memories of being so happy and imagining about him/her and such. I don't know maybe that sounds weird but I find it nice to still be able to dream like I did.

So yesterday I had a bit more "morning" sickness. It was off and on throughout the day. It was pretty mild and honestly I kind of like it because it makes it seem more like I am pregnant. I am just so excited to be carrying this little poppy seed :)