My Little Seseame Seed Tadpole

So I decided not to write this weekend- nothing much to say for the most part. Still having cramps and getting worried. Still excited. Still can't wait to see the little one on the sonogram. So yeah nothing new.

But today is the start of week 5 and here is what they say about that stage...



Deep in your uterus your embryo is growing at a furious pace. At this point, he's about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. He's now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm — which will later form all of his organs and tissues.

The neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.

His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.

The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job.

Dreams of Nausea

So last night I went to bed feeling a bit nauseous and then in my dream I was nauseous too! I thought that was kinda funny. I have been a bit nauseous since I woke up but it isn't too bad. No throwing up thankfully.

SO yeah still pregnant!! I say that to myself often. It's just nice to know because I do get worried when I feel cramps. But so far so good.

I have been knitting a baby blanket. It is about a little over a 4th of the way done. It is coming out cute. I can't wait to finish it but it will take me a week or 2- the longest knitting project I have done yet. I will of course take photos and post them when it is done.

Appointment made

So the doctors office called this morning and I have my first appointment on Wed. Feb. 4. At that appointment they will do blood work and such but then we will schedule the sonogram appointment!!! Yay!

I am hoping this won't mess with our travel plans too much but I am super excited about the sonogram. Hopefully they can get us in there quick and we can take our trip to the west coast. I guess if not we will have to post pone it a bit but I do want to start looking for a perfect place to raise our little poppy seed.

So yesterday I felt a bit nauseous at night but that could have been from eating so much at Cameron's birthday dinner. I also have been having some cramping which makes me start begging this baby to stay with me. It's not bad cramping but I am a little fearful sometimes- I really don't want to lose this baby. So everyone please send those positive thoughts and prayers and hopefully they will work and all will be fine.

Also the preg. test ran out of batteries so it no longer has the "YES+". Maybe it is time to throw out the pee on a stick :)

So I am hoping to make an appointment today for my first prenatal visit. I will post once I have more info on that. I am kinda hoping they will do the sonogram then but it may be too early for that. I am just so anxious to see the little poppy seed. I hope we can bring a video camera and record it. I think that would be awesome.

Filled with hope again

So every time I walk past the preg. test I have to look at it to see that "YES+". I just get so excited to see that. Like it makes it real again.

I am just filled with hope again. I find myself dreaming about what this baby will be like. How it will be to have him or her with us. I did that with Ethan and felt like my dreams were crushed after losing him, I didn't get to have those dreams come true. But I still find myself dreaming and imagining how this one will be- I thought I wouldn't do that this time around- just the knowledge that it is possible to lose all of that, but I guess that innocence has returned to me. Though I don't feel blinded like the innocence I had before but more like I am just enjoying those ideas and thoughts because it is a part of being pregnant and even if we lose this child I will at least have those memories of being so happy and imagining about him/her and such. I don't know maybe that sounds weird but I find it nice to still be able to dream like I did.

So yesterday I had a bit more "morning" sickness. It was off and on throughout the day. It was pretty mild and honestly I kind of like it because it makes it seem more like I am pregnant. I am just so excited to be carrying this little poppy seed :)

My Little Poppy Seed

So I am about 4 weeks along today. Here is what they say about the 4 weeks point...





"This week marks the beginning of the embryonic period. From now until 10 weeks, all of your baby's organs will begin to develop and some will even begin to function.

"Right now your baby is an embryo the size of a poppy seed, consisting of two layers: the epiblast and the hypoblast, from which all of her organs and body parts will develop."

That is the short version of course. But it's so cute to think right now it is the size of a poppy seed. They say that I don't need to go to the doctor until 8 weeks. Maybe that is when they can hear the heartbeat. I can't wait for that.

So I have also tried the Chinese gender calculator thingy- which is supposed to predict the sex of the child by using the conception date and mothers age. I did it a few times and I have gotten both boy and girl the same amount of times. It's interesting how that works :) So I guess it is 50/50 still :)

So yeah still excited but I do worry some. I want to start making blankies!

Excitement!!

So every time I think about how I am carrying a new little baby I get so excited!! I think about all the firsts I will get to experience again- the heartbeat, the sonogram, finding out the sex, making cute things for the baby. I am just so excited to get to those stages.

I am also enjoying this stage.

I am not as sick as I remember being for Ethan. I get mildly nauseous at night but nothing too bad. I worry every time I get a cramp and just sort of pray that this baby will make it. I get scared that I will see blood when I go to the bathroom but I remember being that way when I was pregnant with Ethan. So the fear does come up every now and then but for the most part I am so super happy!!

The innocence that is lost when you lose a child has come back to me too which I find interesting. Like I feel like this child will make it. I thought I wouldn't think that as much this time around since I know the harsh reality but I am glad I still have that innocence.

Introduction

We found out I was pregnant on Friday, Jan. 16th. We started trying a month before. I am so excited we got pregnant so quickly. I have been wanting this for so long and now it is here!!

We lost our Ethan Wolf a year and a half ago on May 26, 2007. He was still born. My blood pressure had been rising during my pregnancy and then got so high they decided to induce me. First they put cervidil in to soften my cervix which ended up causing an occult abruption which cause Ethan Wolf to be still born.

We have gone through a lot since then but felt like we were ready to start trying again and we did and now I am pregnant.

I thought I would start a blog to share my experiences as this pregnancy progresses, because I know it will be very different from my previous pregnancy. It will also let friends and family keep up to date with how it is going.