Spotting

So last Fri. I started spotting some and called my doctor who told me to go to the emergency room. We did and of course waited for so long. It was only a small amount of blood and minor cramping but I got really worried. After hours of being there and some tests and an ultrasound they couldn't say anything was really bad but also couldn't say everything would be ok. I have researched it online and I get some good examples and some not so good but of course they all say there is a 50/50 chance of a good/bad outcome. They have put me on bed rest but have said there is nothing I can really do we just have to wait and see.

I am still bleeding and cramping and there are little clots sometimes. I go back to the doctor Mon and I am supposed to get my hormone levels checked again to see if they get higher or lower. We of course are hoping for higher which will mean the baby is still going strong. I don't think I have miscarried yet and the blood flow isn't too bad. I am just so scared. I go off and on crying but sometimes I think we can make it and I have hope. But then sometimes I am so scared and find myself begging god or the universe or whatever to save my baby. I even beg Ethan, my dad, and anyone I know that has died to keep my little one alive.

So I hate to have to tell you guys over this blog but really it is easiest for me. I can't talk to people right now- it's too hard. But I did want you all to know.